Narcissism is not a mental disorder, it's an extreme form of self-love or love of oneself. The hallmark of a narcissist is a lack of empathy and a grandiose view of self. They often crave admiration and are very good at manipulating others into supporting their views and actions. Here are five habits of a narcissist.
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What is a narcissist?
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5) defines narcissism as "a pervasive personality disorder in which people have an excessive self-love and a lack of empathy for others." The diagnostic criteria require five or more of the following symptoms to be present: grandiosity, entitlement, self-absorption, exploitativeness, lack of empathy and sense of superiority.
How do narcissists behave?
Narcissism is characterized by a strong sense of entitlement coupled with a lack of empathy for others. Narcissistic individuals frequently view themselves
Superiority and entitlement
As self-absorbed people, narcissists often believe they are special and in line with their own needs. They may feel that others should cater to them instead of meeting their needs.
manipulation
Narcissists are skilled at using people for their own gain or amusement. They can be very convincing in pursuit of what they want, even if it conflicts with the interests of those around them.
Arrogance and superiorism
Many narcissists display an inflated sense of self-importance, feeling invincible and entitled to privileges and admiration from others. This sense of grandiosity can lead to
Perfectionism
Many narcissists are also perfectionistic, striving for the best of everything in their lives. They may be extremely critical of themselves, which can lead to feelings of self-doubt and insecurity.
Regularly putting others first
Narcissists often put themselves first and think only about what they need or want. This can lead them to prioritise their own needs over those of others, even if it's not in anyone else's best interest.
Lack of responsibility
Narcissists often take advantage of others, not taking any ownership for their actions or feelings. They may expect others to do everything for them and never accept responsibility for their own lives.
Lack of boundaries
Narcissists often lack empathy and are not self- restraining in their actions. They may cross boundaries without feeling any remorse or guilt, causing significant damage to those around them.
Lack of empathy
Narcissists often lack empathy for others, seeing them as objects rather than people. They may find it difficult to connect with others on an emotional level and feel little or no sympathy for their plight.
Emotional reasoning
Narcissists often use emotional reasoning to justify their behaviour. They may say things like "I needed to do that in order for us to remain friends" or "It's not my fault - it's yours".
Perceiving everything as a threat
Narcissists often see everything as a threat to their own self-identity. They may interpret any challenge or criticism as an attack on their reputation or self-esteem. This can lead them to react in defensively aggressive ways.
Splitting
Narcissists often split their own personality in two - one part of them is good and the other bad. They see themselves as invincible and always in control, even when this isn't true.
Anxiety
Narcissists often have high levels of anxiety, which can cause them to lash out in self-defence. They may become preoccupied with thoughts of failing or being judged, leading to a lack of confidence and low self-esteem.
Deeply repressed shame
Narcissists often have a deep-seated sense of shame, which they use to cover up their vulnerabilities. They may be hypersensitive to any form of criticism or disapproval and feel unable to trust anyone.
An inability to be truly vulnerable
Narcissists often have a hard time being truly vulnerable with others. They may withhold information or refuse to share personal details, believing that this will protect them.
Need for Attention
Narcissists often need a lot of attention and admiration in order to feel satisfied. They may take any form of criticism as an attack on their self-worth and become combative or even violent in response.
Few Boundaries
Narcissists often have a lack of self-control and an inability to set boundaries. This can cause them to behave in unkind or even harmful ways towards others.
They are hypocritical.
They tend to be self-promoting and often display a lack of empathy or concern for others. They may also be selective in their sense of morality, behaving ethically only when it suits them.
They are punitive with money.
Narcissists are often ruthless in their pursuit of money and may abuse the resources that they have access to. They may be verbally abusive or financially aggressive when crossed, leading to financial difficulties for others.
They gaslight you
Narcissists often use tactics such as gaslighting to twist what you say in order to make you doubt your own perceptions. They may alternate between being supportive and critical, asking probing questions that seem designed to uncover vulnerabilities.
They target codependents.
Narcissists often target people who are codependent in order to gain their trust and then abuse that power. They may promise support only to take advantage of the person later on, or use them as a source of narcissistic supply.
They make you feel special.
Narcissists often seem to genuinely care about you and view you as special. They may shower you with compliments, telling you how great you are even when there is little evidence to support this.
Have you ever been in a relationship where the person you're with is very self-centered?
Sometimes people in relationships with narcissists may feel like they need to constantly put their own needs second in order to keep the relationship going. It can be hard for someone who is self-centered to care about others, so it can be difficult for them to reciprocate the love and attention that a narcissist lavishes on them.
Do you think that narcissists are attracted to people who are similar to them?
Narcissists often equate admiration with love, so it's possible that they are drawn to people who share some of the same personality traits. This could include being self-centered and lack empathy, both of which narcissists may find flattering.
What do you think happens when someone is constantly surrounded by Narcissists?
Do you think that narcissists have a distorted sense of self-worth?
It's possible that narcissists have a very distorted sense of self-worth. They may view themselves as superior to others, and their lack of empathy could lead them to think that they're always right. This could make them feel entitled to everything they want, which can put people in harm's way.
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Do you think that people who have these habits can still be successful?
Not always. People who have narcissistic tendencies may be very successful in certain areas of their lives, but it can often come at a price – people with narcissism typically lack empathy, so they don't understand or appreciate other people's feelings. This could lead to them getting hurt in relationships or not performing well at work.
Do you think that people who have these habits will eventually change?
It's possible that people who have narcissistic tendencies will eventually change. If they're meeting the needs of others and caring for them, it could create empathy in them which could lead to a change in their personality traits. However, this can take a lot of patience and work on the narcissist's part.
What do you think is the best way to deal with someone who has these habits?
There's not really a one-size-fits-all answer to this question, as it will vary depending on the situation. However, if you're aware of someone's narcissistic tendencies and how they're affecting their relationships, there are some steps you can take to try and fix things. For example, trying to set boundaries or expressing your feelings is often helpful in resolving conflicts.
Are there any risks associated with being around someone who has these habits?
There are risks associated with being around anyone, regardless of their personality traits. However, in cases of narcissism, there's a heightened risk of harm happening to others due to the lack of empathy and entitlement that characterizes this disorder. For example, someone who is narcissistic may not understand or appreciate how their actions affect others – this could lead them to hurt or even abuse those around them.
Do you think that a person's narcissism is determined by their genes?
There is limited research on this topic, but it's possible that narcissism is associated with a person's genes. It may be something that's passed down through family history or it could develop as someone gets older. Regardless of its origins, narcissism can lead to problems in relationships and other areas of life.
Do you think that there's anything that can be done to change the way a person is narcissistic?
There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question. The best thing you can do is work with a mental health professional who can help you explore your personal situation and identify any potential changes or exercises that could improve your relationship with narcissism. Additionally, self-awareness – including knowing your own narcissistic tendencies – is an important first step in managing them.
Would you describe yourself as a narcissist, or did your upbringing influence this personality trait in you more?
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Summary
All in all, do you think there's anything that can be done to change the way narcissism manifests in people?
There is limited research on this topic, but it's possible that narcissism can be improved through self-awareness and working with a mental health professional.
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